Barney's video being watched in The apartment. In Game Night , the rest of gang and Victoria learn more about Barney's traumatic past after Lily runs into his ex-girlfriend, Shannon , and she is given the tape that Barney made Shannon to win her back. After telling his early adulthood story as above , he tells the gang that after he ran out on them when they were watching his video, he tracked Shannon down.
When he and Shannon met, Shannon told him her relationship with Greg didn't last and she now has a son. After Barney tells the others how happy he is that he's not with Shannon and a father, he tells them that he slept with her.
Lily doesn't believe him at first and believes that his meeting with Shannon had him question his lifestyle, until Barney shows her the video of them having sex that he took with his cellphone. In Cupcake , Barney tricks Marshall into buying an extremely expensive suit that he can't afford so he'll work with him at his company.
Although Marshall initially refuses, he has no choice but to take the internship position in the legal department at Barney's company when Lily ruins an expensive wedding dress. In Life Among the Gorillas , when Marshall starts his internship, Barney helps him fit in when he learns that Marshall gets made bullied by his coworkers. After Ted does a rain dance for hours, Barney tries to get him to stop and tells him that it won't. When Ted starts yelling at the "universe" and finally rains, Barney is surprised and yells, "Oh, come on!
He is later seen hooking up with Penelope at MacLaren's. Barney is initially upset for Marshall after Lily leaves him to attend an art fellowship in San Francisco, but gets excited when he realizes that this might me the only time that he, Ted, and Marshall are single at the same time.
His happiness is short-lived though when he realizes that Ted and Robin are now a couple. Unfortunately, every time Marshall starts to get comfortable and is doing well with the woman, Barney impresses them with magic and sleeps with them instead.
Marshall does get his revenge on Barney, but having Lily pose as pair twins that he gave chlamydia to while he tries to take home a pair of twins at MacLaren's. Barney seems to have impressed the two of them more than Robin, which irritates her greatly.
He then reveals to Ted that his dad made out with Wendy from MacLaren's. This caused Ted to confront his father and learn that his parents are divorced and that his mother is currently dating someone else. When Ted, Robin, and his parents went outside to talk, Barney mentioned to Lily and Marshall that he had forgotten that Alfred had told him that he was divorced. Barney is hesitant, but seeing how desperate she is; he allowed her to stay one night in his apartment.
The next day, an unemployed "hippie chick" that Barney had a one-night stand with was resistant to all his woman-repellents that he had in his apartment his professionally-lit porn collection, having no food or drinks in his refrigerator, his toilet seat that automatically goes back up, and having only one towel, blanket, and pillow.
Barney didn't know what to do, but she left on her own when Lily walked through his front door and Lily thought she was his wife. After realizing that Lily is ultimate woman-repellent, he offered Lily the chance to stay in his apartment indefinitely as long as she posed as his wife to get rid of his one-night stands after he's done with them.
Lily accepted and eventually was able to get Barney to change his apartment to make it more comfortable for her, but told him it was to make their fake marriage more believable. Two weeks passed, after buying his bed brand new Italian sheets and pillows for his bed, he, instead of going out, joins Lily on his bed and watches Letterman with her. They fall asleep, but scream when they wake up in the morning. Barney initially thinks they slept together, but Lily looks under the covers and tells him that they just fell asleep.
But Barney becomes even more disturbed because he slept in the same bed as a woman and didn't make a move and accuses her of "spooning" him against his will.
He goes on saying that because they redecorated his place, stayed in on a Friday night to watch Letterman, and slept together but didn't have sex that can only mean that they're in a relationship.
Lily is amazed at what Barney thinks is a relationship then explains she thinks that he's terrified by the idea that he let down his guard around her and let her in.
Barney quickly agrees and tells her to leave. She says that he can't kick her out, but she did leave after he agreed to give her all new things he bought to redecorate his apartment. Barney believes it's because Robin did porn in Canada, while Marshall believes it's because she got married in a Canadian mall. They decide to do a slap bet based on whose right and make Lily the Slap Bet Commissioner. Marshall slaps Barney when Robin told Ted that she was married, but Barney slaps him back three times after it's revealed that she lied and that Marshall tried to hide that fact from him.
After Barney gets a hold of the Robin Sparkles video and plays it for the gang, Barney slaps Marshall because it starts out like porno. Robin continues the video showing that it's a music video and Robin was a teenage, Canadian pop star. Because Barney prematurely slapped Marshall, Lily gives him the choice of receiving ten slaps immediately or five slaps that are open to Marshall for all eternity. Barney chooses the five slaps option. Later, while watching the music video again, Marshall surprisingly slaps Barney using up the first slap.
When Lily tells him that she would've said something nice if it was his play, which Barney takes on as a challenge. Later, Barney has the rest of the gang come and see his one-man show called, Suck it Lily. Eventually, Lily cracks and admits that it's awful. Even though he proved Lily wrong, Barney obviously shows that he wants to perform the second act to his play.
Lily convinces the rest of the gang to stay for Barney's second act. Later, while Barney is performing the second act, Marshall walks up to Barney and uses the second slap of Slap Bet. Ted tells Barney that this going to happen so he might as well help move out his things. Barney agrees, but he then leaves and steals the rental moving truck, which was filled with most Ted's possessions. Later, Barney calls up Ted and forces him to hand out and bros' night out.
Although hesitant to admit it, Ted enjoyed hanging out with Barney. Barney also made him realize that Ted and Robin aren't ready to live together.
A furious Marshall questions why the two of them are even friends. After hearing this, Lily reveals that Barney secretly came to San Francisco and bought Lily a plane ticket back to New York and told her to come back since Marshall is the best man he knew and it wouldn't be long till another woman would see that. Marshall, touched for what Barney did for him and Lily, made Barney and Ted co-best men for his wedding. Noticing how obsessed he is with being perfect for the show, the gang asks him why he needs to be perfect.
Barney reveals to the gang that his mother told him when he was a boy that Bob Barker is his father. Later on, the entire gang is watching the Price is Right episode that Barney is in. Barney wins every single prize, all of which he gives to Marshall and Lily as wedding gifts.
At the end of the episode, Barney is about to tell Bob Barker that he is son, but instead congratulates him on 35 years of hosting the show.
The gang asks Barney why he didn't tell Bob Barker the "truth", which he answers that it would upset him. In Something Borrowed , after several disasters occur right before Lily and Marshall's wedding, they decide to get married outside and before their actual wedding ceremony.
Barney, who is licensed to legally marry couples, marries Marshall and Lily with Ted and Robin being the only witnesses. Barney, determined to find out the secret, eventually comes to the conclusion that Robin is pregnant.
Barney becomes upset at the idea of Ted being a father and missing out on great adventures to take care of the child. Ted and Robin then reveal the truth that the two of them broke up. Barney is at first upset for Ted, but quickly excited after Ted tells him that he'll need a wingman.
With Ted single again, Barney resumes his position as Ted's wingman and tries to get him over his breakup with Robin. On Thanksgiving, Barney receives the third slap of the slap bet that he lost to Marshall , who renamed the day as Slapsgiving. Barney would then get into a slump of his own when he reunites with Rhonda French , the woman who took his virginity. His confidence is destroyed and gets "the yips" when he learns that his sexual encounter with Rhonda wasn't memorable and that his brother James had to have sex with her first before she slept with him.
He would later regain his confidence after he sleeps Rhonda again and she tells him that he really did "rock her world". Barney would run into more trouble after an unknown woman keeps foiling his attempts to sleep with new women.
Even after tracking down and "apologizing" to the four women he treated the worst to, he still couldn't figure out who the unknown woman was.
Later, he would comfort Robin after being dumped by her ex-boyfriend, Simon , again. This would lead to him betraying Ted after he and Robin sleep together. Filled with guilt, Robin would tell Ted, which leads him to end his friendship with Barney completely. While trying to get over his destroyed friendship, Barney learns that the unknown woman is Abby and the two bond over their "hatred" towards Ted.
They pretend to be in a relationship to anger Ted, but the plan fails. In the season finale , Lily informs Barney that Ted was involved in a car crash. As soon as he hears this, Barney left his business meeting and ran all the way to the hospital. When he makes it to the hospital, Barney is hit by a bus and put in a full body cast.
The rest of the gang find him in the hospital and Barney begs Ted if they can be friends again. Ted, touched by Barney's actions, tells him that they're more than friends, they're brothers and the two hug. After Ted left to find Stella , Marshall asked Barney what his last thoughts were in his near-death experience. Although Marshall and Lily believed his last thoughts would be about about boobs, money, and suits, it's shown that his last thoughts were about Robin. Barney realizes that he has "caught" feelings for Robin and comes to Lily for advice.
Lily tries to help Barney to get Robin to see him in a new way. Although Robin seemed to like the "new" Barney, she showed her appreciation by setting him up with a different girl. The next day Lily gets angry at him for sleeping with the girl even though he states that he has feelings for Robin. She then gave him an ultimatum, Robin or bimbos, but is disappointed when Barney decided to bury his feelings and chose bimbos. Despite Barney being there to comfort Ted after he's left at the altar, Ted showed distrust in him when his sister , who Barney has always been attracted to, came to visit during Christmas time.
Angry at Ted's distrust in them, Heather and Barney pretend to sleep together to teach Ted a lesson. Later, Barney's feelings for Robin drive him crazy when Ted and Robin decide to be friends with benefits as a way to stop them from arguing over problems at home.
Eventually, this would lead Barney to fix all the problems the two were arguing about in an attempt to stop them from sleeping with each other. Ted realizes after this that Barney has developed romantic feelings for Robin so he stops his purely sexual relationship with Robin. The rest of the gang would later meet Barney's mother and learn that he has hired an actress and child actor to pose as his wife and son.
Due to his friend's interference, Barney reveals the truth to his mother, but is relieved when she tells him that she isn't disappointed with him. His mother does tell Barney though that if he finds a special girl that he should go for it.
In the spring of , Marshall and Barney come up with a complicated ruse to trick Ted after the two of them learn that his project of creating a new GNB headquarters has been canceled. Barney does get Ted the opportunity to create a new firing room, but Ted doesn't want to build a place where people get fired so Bilson fires him.
Barney would also fulfill his childhood promise of sleeping with women. After telling Matthew Panning, the person he made this promise to, about his conquest, Barney wonders what he'll do now and sees Robin. In the season finale , Barney gets Ted's blessing to confess his romantic feelings to Robin.
Unknown to both of them, Robin overhears their conversation and decides to "Mosby" him by telling Barney that she loves him as soon as she sees him again. Barney is turned off by this, but later confronts her after Marshall and Lily tell him what Robin did.
The two of them argue over their feelings for each other and eventually kiss. When the rest of gang figure out that Barney and Robin have been sleeping together the entire summer, Lily forces them to talk about defining their relationship.
Although they agree to pretend to be a couple, they do eventually become legitimate relationship. Barney struggles giving up his old habits, such as going to the Lusty Leopard with Marshall that led to them finding Lily's doppelganger, which leads him to accepting Ted's offer on how to be a good boyfriend. Barney appears to be happy with his relationship to the point where he gives Ted his porn collection, but the video Ted watches is recorded over by Barney.
Noticing Barney's weight gain and how irritable Robin always is, Ted, Marshall, and Lily attempt to break them up. Their plan fails, but Barney and Robin realize themselves that their relationship isn't healthy and mutually break up.
Later, Marshall declares the Thanksgiving of as Slapsgiving 2 and delivers the fourth slap of the slap bet to Barney. Barney would soon meet his match when he attempts to woo a successful, feminist author named Anita. In a last ditch effort to sleep with Anita, Barney and Ted plan a super-date. Before the date, Lily, Marshall, and Ted inform Barney that Anita was sent by Robin because she was upset over how easy it was for Barney to get over her, such as having a perfect week seven hook ups in seven days , going to the Super Bowl and asking women to call him on live television, and him bragging in front of her about the women he's slept with.
Barney would later get jealous of Don when she and Don move in together. In a drunken state, he and Ted confront Robin, but this causes her to end her friendship with both of them so her relationship with Don is not jeopardized. In the season finale, Marshall and Lily decide to try to have a baby after they find Barney's doppelganger, a brunette cab driver.
Marshall would later learn that Barney and cab driver are one and the same and Barney reveals this fact to Lily when he learns that the two of them of having a baby is dependent on the discovery of his doppelganger.
Barney also struggles with the idea that Robin may move to Chicago to pursue a great job opportunity. Even though Robin decided to stay, the thought of losing her made Barney think that the addition of Marshall and Lily's baby to the gang wouldn't be a bad thing so he posed as an Estonian street performer to trick them.
Lily and Marshall saw through his ploy and assured him that he would be a great uncle to their child. Barney and James meet James' father, Sam Gibbs. In , Barney, James , and the rest of the gang go and help his mother pack since she is moving out of his childhood home.
While packing, he and James find an un-mailed letter to Sam Gibbs with a childhood photo of them and "your son" written on the back. The brothers and the rest of gang go to the address and discover that Sam is James' biological father. Afterwards, Loretta offers to tell Barney who his father really is, but realizing how hard his mother worked to be the perfect parent for him and James; he told her that she was his dad.
Later, when GNB revives the new headquarter project Barney gets Ted to resume his old project after a little seducing on Barney's part. When the gang is invited to gala party at the National History Museum, Barney reveals to his friends that when he was six years old he knocked down the blue whale exhibit.
Not believing the blue whale incident to be true, Robin challenges Barney to contest to see how many exhibits they could touch in the museum. Eventually, a security guard catches the two and while detaining them reveals that Barney's story is true.
The guard reads over the file and reveals that Barney's uncle, who took him, signed the release form as Barney's father. Later, Barney would meet his doppelganger, who happens to be Marshall and Lily's reproduction specialist. Barney's heart rate, just before it skips a beat, at the beginning of his second date with Nora. After Marshall's father dies of a heart attack, Barney calls his mother and tells her that he's ready to meet his father. She gives him Jerome's address and he writes him a letter.
He tries to seduce her with a cheesy lie, but Nora sees right through it. The two of them start talking about laser tag and Barney begins to truly like her. Seeing this, Robin, the next day, has Nora substitute for her in a laser tag tournament so she can be Barney's partner and first Valentine's Day date.
Later, Barney would go out with Nora again, but she mentions that she wants to get married and start a family. Barney claims that he wishes for the same things and is even invited to meet Nora's parents.
After she invites him into her home, he tells her that he lied so Nora slaps him and leaves. When he tells this story to Lily and his cardiologist, Lily tells him that he does want those things and the cardiologist confirms from the heart monitor that he was wearing that at time of the date his heart literally skipped a beat.
Barney goes to the restaurant where Nora is meeting her parents, but stops at the door. He considers going in, but at the last second leaves.
Barney's father later comes to reconnect with him. Barney has no intention of getting to know him after seeing how boring he is. Barney : I apologize for my gender. Let me make it up to you, make you a drink. Hula Dancer : You certainly are a charming devil.
Hula Dancer : No. Barney : Okay, Victoria's Secret party, right now. Ted Mosby : Nope. Barney : Come on, I can't stand watching my delusional friend waste another precious Halloween! Ted, the slutty pumpkin is not coming! Barney : Oy Ted Mosby : Come on, Barney, this is not about the odds!
It's about believing! This girl, she Barney : Wow. I did not understand a word you just said. Hula Dancer : [seeing that Barney is the penguin] Wait a minute. You're that lame army guy!
Barney : What? No, no, that's some other guy. And he was a kick-ass fighter pilot. Hula Dancer : I cannot believe I gave you my number. Barney : Yeah, well, you did. Hula Dancer : Yeah, well, give it back. Barney : Well, uh, I don't think so, I earned it, fair and square.
I'm calling you. Hula Dancer : But I'm never going to go out with you! Barney : But how will you know it's me. I'm a master of disguise! Barney : I'm flippering you off. Barney : Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash. Barney : This party sucks! There's like 7 chicks here. Barney : There's 6 chicks here! Barney : I penguin-suited up to show you the error of your ways.
Sign In. Showing all 21 items. Jump to: Photos 5 Quotes Create a list ». Marshall Eriksen's career as a lawyer—and then, eventually, a judge—brings about many great recurring jokes and quotes, from changing up big Fudge to Judge Fudge to this catchphrase Marshall sparingly uses alongside "Lawyered.
It only pops up occasionally, like when Barney asks the gang to let him be himself, not as prominent as some other catchphrases, but one of Marshall's go-to's.
Barney Stinson's job is one of the best and most prominent running jokes in How I Met Your Mother , with nobody knowing what his job was for a long time, only knowing he made a lot of money and wore suits in an office.
Anytime Barney was asked about his job, Barney would reply with a simple, nonchalant "Please. The recurring phrase of "Please" always provided fans and characters with some funny, if not frustrating, moments.
It is rare for the gang to totally go along with Barney's antics. Often times they either sit by, allowing him to ramble and go on, but they also call him out on lying, and when that happens, he has a reply ready to go. His typical dejected and frustrated "Just OK" comes out whenever he is caught lying or whenever someone questions his plans and antics, such as when Ted does not let him talk through his Jor-El camera.
Barney is a compulsive liar so the "Just Speaking of Barney and his unnecessary lies , he has many disgusting rules that usually relate to picking up women or avoiding a specific type of woman. What makes his rules so typically Barney, as well as making them funny, is the fact he always starts off revealing his rules with "I only have one rule.
Ted and Robin do not have many catchphrases, most of them fall to Barney, but one they share together is an inside joke that takes many forms and infuriates the gang. Using any form of military officer title that fits, whether it be Major or General, the two perform mock salutes whenever someone uses any of the words in conversation. Examples the two mock throughout the show include "General Knowledge," "Private things," and "Major pleasure.
In the spirit of his profession, Marshall Eriksen coined the term "lawyered" to use whenever he successfully disputes someone's argument with his epic law school knowledge. It serves as a harsh and hilarious verbal "finisher" to anyone foolish enough to enter an argument with our "Big Fudge. The quirky Robin Scherbatsky has a few specific habits, one of them being the repeating of "but Robin's unfortunate habit came to the gang's attention in the episode "Jenkins" after Ted finds out that his students made a whole drinking game of it - one that inevitably leads to a debilitating hangover that arguably should have gotten Robin fired.
Things are made worse by the fact that Robin believed her show to be "entertaining" for said students, not knowing it was merely an awesome drinking game. In his tendency to over-dramatize and emphasize his statements, Barney is famous for using the phrase "wait for it.
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