Work together to resolve the situation and protect the bullied child. The child, parents, and school or organization may all have valuable input. It may help to:. Be persistent. Bullying may not end overnight. Commit to making it stop and consistently support the bullied child. Show a commitment to making bullying stop. Because bullying is behavior that repeats or has the potential to be repeated, it takes consistent effort to ensure that it stops.
Make sure the child knows what the problem behavior is. Young people who bully must learn their behavior is wrong and harms others. Show kids that bullying is taken seriously. Calmly tell the child that bullying will not be tolerated.
Model respectful behavior when addressing the problem. Work with the child to understand some of the reasons he or she bullied. For example:. Use consequences to teach. Consequences that involve learning or building empathy can help prevent future bullying.
School staff should remember to follow the guidelines in their student code of conduct and other policies in developing consequences and assigning discipline. For example, the child who bullied can:. Involve the kid who bullied in making amends or repairing the situation. The goal is to help them see how their actions affect others. For example, the child can:. After the bullying issue is resolved, continue finding ways to help the child who bullied to understand how what they do affects other people.
For example, praise acts of kindness or talk about what it means to be a good friend. Even if kids are not bullied or bullying others they can be affected by bullying.
Many times, when they see bullying, they may not know what to do to stop it. Understanding the basics. What is bullying? Why should I intervene if my child is being bullied? Starting with prevention. Educate your children about bullying. Once they know what bullying is, your children will be able to identify it more easily, whether it is happening to them or someone else. Talk openly and frequently to your children. The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it.
Check in with your children daily and ask about their time at school and their activities online, inquiring not only about their classes and activities, but also about their feelings. Help your child be a positive role model. There are three parties to bullying: the victim, the perpetrator, and the bystander. Even if children are not victims of bullying, they can prevent bullying by being inclusive, respectful and kind to their peers. Encourage your child to enrol in classes or join activities they love in your community.
This will also help build confidence as well as a group of friends with shared interests. Be a role model. Show your child how to treat other children and adults with kindness and respect by doing the same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated. Children look to their parents as examples of how to behave, including what to post online.
Be part of their online experience. What signs should I look out for? Look closely. Signs to look out for include: Physical marks such as unexplained bruises, scratches, broken bones and healing wounds Fear of going to school or joining school events Being anxious, nervous or very vigilant Having few friends in school or outside of school Losing friends suddenly or avoiding social situations Clothing, electronics or other personal belongings being lost or destroyed Often asking for money Low academic performance Absenteeism, or calling from school asking to go home Trying to stay near adults Not sleeping well and may be having nightmares Complaining of headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments Regularly distressed after spending time online or on their phone without a reasonable explanation Becomes unusually secretive, especially when it comes to online activities Being aggressive or having angry outbursts Talk openly.
Talk to your children about what they think is good and bad behaviour in school, in the community and online. It is important to have open communication so that your children will feel comfortable telling you about what is happening in their lives. Responding to bullying. What should I do if my child is being bullied or threatened? If you know your child is being bullied, there are several steps you can take to help them: Listen to your child openly and calmly. Focus on making them feel heard and supported, instead of trying to find the cause of the bullying or trying to solve the problem.
Make sure they know that it is not their fault. Tell the child that you believe them ; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault; that you will do your best to find help.
In doing this, consider what emotional need his behaviors were trying to satisfy often peer status and acceptance and then help him find more appropriate behaviors to meet those needs. If the teacher does not already know about the bullying incident, let her know and also inform school staff involved with the student so they can monitor the situation.
Also check with the student after a couple of days to find out if the bullying has stopped and then periodically after that. Even if the bullying has stopped, you may still want to provide him with guidance, particularly if he is isolated from his peers.
For example, you may want to help him expand his friendships and develop his social skills. In dealing with a bullying situation, one step you should rarely take is to treat the incident as a peer conflict and try to mediate a solution by getting the bully and victim together. If this is a true bullying situation, then there is an imbalance of power between the two students and probably no conflict to resolve.
Getting them together is likely to be intimidating for the victim and may unfairly signal to him that he has done something wrong that needs to be resolved. Rather the message to the victim should be that the bully has acted inappropriately and school staff will take responsibility for resolving the problem. Conflict resolution procedures are more appropriate where there is parity between the students or fault on both sides.
Kenneth Shore. Ph: About Dr. Dealing with the Victim of Bullying.
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